Filling Empty Spaces
December 10th and May 2nd will be dates that will forever remain burned in my memory. December 10th was the date my son was born and then 19 years later on May 2nd he moved out of my house and into his own apartment. Those two dates are huge due to the enormous impact my son made on my life. He bounced into this world with tons of energy and love. He immediately taught me things as a mother such as being compassionate, patient, loving and caring. He also kept me on my toes and reminded me I had someone else to always fight for besides just myself.
May 2nd was emotional as he utilized that assertiveness once again and moved himself into his first apartment with some friends. He had saved up money and had a good job. He remained steadfast to his word that he would remain in college and pursue a career for himself. (Today he is entering his sophomore year.)
Suddenly the house was empty and quiet! What was I do to? The dogs moped around and sighed heavy sighs when no one came by to rub their bellies. My stepchildren had moved out years earlier but my son was still around to fill the space with sounds of laughter. He was in Band for many years so many times my living room was full of other band kids laughing and playing their instruments. There was never a dull moment.
So, I set out on a journey to fill that empty space. Yoga seemed most appropriate for me. I shifted and changed the back bedroom so that I could provide private yoga sessions in my home and have my own space for a yoga practice. I decided during the early morning hours, which usually meant hustling around getting ready for early morning band practice, now was my Yoga time. Me time!
I began by setting my morning routine with a cup of coffee and then a 30 minute yoga practice followed by a 10 minute meditation. Sometimes I would take my mat outside and listen to the birds while I grounded myself in meditation. Other times, I would light my candles, turn on my diffuser and music and find a beautiful yoga flow in my yoga space while the dogs looked on in wonder. Either way Yoga allows me to fill gaps that are missing because Yoga is about expanding, joining, nurturing, and learning. Maybe I am learning more about myself in this moment without my child physically here in my home. Certainly I am learning more about nurturing myself in this very moment.
Finding something positive to fill that void was most important to me. What will you do for yourself in time of need?